Everything, not just Hunter Pence, has "Energy"

A common issue with espn, sports illustrated, and sports commentary in general is the use of these generalized terms to define a team or player instead of staying grounded in realism. Here is a one of the biggest examples.

"Energy" Most recently this has been most connected with the Hunter Pence trade to the Phillies so I'm going to use him as an example. Columnists have raved about how Pence brings "energy" to the Phillies line-up, what the fuck does that even mean? They describe it as "stealing a base, or beating out a grounder or going first to third, anything extra to excite the team and get things moving." Well why call it energy? With that description why don't you call him "pretty fast". Energy is also used for power hitters for example "The timely home run energizes the team" so now you are just taking actual baseball terms like "power hitter" and "brings speed" and reducing it down to "timely hitter" or "energy". This is just a ploy commentators use to be very generic in describing a player's qualities without really getting into what that player brings to the table. Using the term energy is worse then those worthless terms that at least sound baseball related like "above average bat speed" or "good eye for the ball"

Another thing about "energy" is doesn't that take away from the team? Saying "Hunter Pence will bring energy to a lacking Phillies team" Ok, so you are saying the Phillies just don't give a shit and aren't actually trying? Wow that is harsh but if you are going to say that at least stick to your guns and don't later write about this teams "heart" (thats another term worthy of its own post). But this is the core problem with the term "energy" saying he brings energy because he goes first to third on a single just means he has pretty good speed.
Prince Fielder is horrible at going first to third, no one claims its because he is lacking "energy" its because he is slow.

So in summary next time when you are describing a player please do not use the term "energy" it is just an easy way to sound like you are complimenting him while still saying nothing at all. At least go with something a little above that and say this player has alot of "hustle".

That is it for now, I'll be back iwith more stuff in general and probably more dissections of other common meaningless terms. Here is a preview: "He plays the way the game should be." I hate that phrase.

Kaymazing

Mavericks the Movie! Why Dallas Deserves the Finals

The Dallas Mavericks deserve to win the NBA Finals and I'll put the reasoning simply. The Mavericks winning creates a perfect sports film. Hoosiers will now be 3rd on the greatest basketball movies ever. (Spacejam will forever be number 1. solely for being the only sports movie to feature Porky Pig) The Dallas Mavericks story and plot won't need to be that brilliant, like Kelly's Heroes or The Expendables, it will carried simply by a great cast. Think of the characters already on this team.

Jason Kid = The old veteran who needs to sap every bit of energy out of his breaking down body. He provides a mentor role who has traveled this path before and is searching for that ring. On team trips and meetings he would be the quite, stoic type.

Jason Terry = Comic relief but still contributes. Gutsy big-mouthed
talking a ton. Hits huge 3s and runs his mouth all over the place.

Tyson Chandler = Total jock "nothing upstairs" type, have you seen him flex on the court? A beefcake for the women and just the general dolt.

J.J. Barea = Total Leprechaun. Small guy who is gutsy and is very sensitive about his fight. Willing to fight anyone. Heavy drinking Irishman

Peja Stoyakovich = The eastern European who gets benched in the Finals, his struggles are heartbreaking bring some sadness to the team

Deshawn Stevenson = Tough guy who is just your everyman. He is either partnered with his sub. Always talking with Jason Terry or he is the best friend to our leading man who is.....

NOT Dirk Nowitzski = Dirk is great but he just isn't the type of player people will relate too. He will be a great character, lots of depth there. Lots of loss and failure that he is finally taking care of, carrying his team to the end. I love Dirk and maybe I'm wrong with this but in my movie he is just another side character.

and your leading man is........

BRIAN CARDINAL!

yes, I know you might be surprised
but think of my reasoning, he is a journeyman big guy who doesn't have any of the special skills that his teammates have. And through his own hustle and effort he gets important playing time in the finals to contribute to the team. (Don't forget this is Hollywood we are talking about, his looks don't matter too much, I think we could get away with casting George Clooney or even Will Smith!)

The only problem with this great blockbuster is that the antagonist's here are too generic. The Heat? 3 hated stars who even while losing mock the other players sicknesses, the team with the worst fans and have Pat Riley = clearly the devil as their leader. O Yea they where red and black. Come on no one is going to believe a team is that stereotypical evil.

Kaymazing

Playoff Predictions/Wishful Thinking

In The West:

Lakers/Mavs

What will happen: Here is how you stop the Lakers, because no one in the league can one on one stop Kobe, you need great help defense to slow him down at least a little, or you need solid team d to take out everyone else from the game BESIDES Kobe, he might go for 60, but he can't go for 110. Sadly The Mavs have neither of these, further more Paul Gasol has to be getting pysched to face up against the one power forward in the league who can be pushed around more then him, Dirk Nowitzki. I think Dallas can steal a game or two in this round however they won't truly challenge the Lakers. The only interesting thing in this series is what is going to come out of Mark Cuban's mouth.

Wishful Dreaming: Here's what would be awesome, Tyson Chandler pushes around often passive Andrew Bynum. In activities night at the senior center, Jason Kidd dominates Derek Fisher. And Dirk Nowitzki actually becomes a leader and scores over 35 everygame. With Kobe's ankle re-injured by being juked out from JJ Barea, the Lakers fall in a sweep to end all sweeps.

Thunder/Grizzlies

What will happen: This one could be competitive if the Grizzlies hadn't just drained so much energy in winning that last series against the Spurs. It's strength vs. weakness for both teams, Memphis has the edge down low with the suddenly dominate Zach Randolph and "the other one" Gasol. But the Thunder have Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant. Durant will get his scoring but Westbrook is the real key, if he can be hot and run around on Mike Conley then this possible matchup nightmare will be a cruise for the Thunder.

Wishful Dreaming: The Griz ride that wave of emotion to Oklahoma City where Zach Randolph takes turns pushing through Serge Ibaka and matching up with Kendrick Perkins (a matchup that would look better in pads and a helmet). Shane Battier puts the clamps down on Kevin Durant holding him under 30 points. The big surprise comes from young Mexican hotshot Javier Vazquez out of Maryland surprises everyone and averages 18 in the series. Overall the team defense of Memphis slows down the athleticism of the Thunder. Discipline beats Talent. Leading to the greatest matchup of all time. Gasol vs. Gasol!

Kay the Sportsaholic is back! Thinking of reviving this blog to providing more consistent output. Give me some feedback on what you think.